March 26–27: Scarecrow Army
I feel like I haven’t had many new thoughts lately.
That’s fine. There is only so much cognition we can handle. Not thinking is kind of beneficial. If I catch myself thinking too much, I might just start crying, but that’s because I’m sensitive.
I’ve spent most of my free time playing Animal Crossing. I’m no pro by any means, but I think my island is shaping up to be quite the tourist attraction. I’ve got my estate, surrounded by a stone and iron wall, as well as my scarecrow pen, which houses 20 scarecrows (so far). The interior of my home is nice, but I wish I had more table space. Many of my decor items are sitting on the floor, and that just isn’t ideal. And I don’t even know if it’s available in the game, but I desperately want a suit of armor to put in the living room. That’s also a real life goal. I want my future home to look like a medieval knight and a gothic witch came together in the pursuit of interior design. That is my ideal aesthetic.
In an attempt to make my day productive, I experimented with some caffeine pills. The lesson I learned was: do not take multiple. And do not take multiple, multiple times in one day. You will shake. Your heart will shudder. You will type very quickly for a short period of time, but at a cost. When I was in high school, I once consumed well over 1000 mg of caffeine in a single day, and the feeling I experienced today was similar. I would not recommend it. But it helped pass the time.
Yesterday, I ventured to the pet store to pick up some crickets for my gecko. There was not a single customer in the store (good), I kept my distance from the employees, and they all wore gloves. I didn’t want to go in for their sake, but I also didn’t want to make one of them come out in the cold to put a bag of crickets in my trunk.
Anyway, my God, the crickets. For the first year when I purchased them, they were silent. I could hear them crawling over the cardboard on occasion, but that was it. In the past few months, the crickets have become more audacious, and this bunch in the worst yet. They literally kept me up last night. I’m going to put them in a separate room tonight so I can actually try to sleep. I don’t know what is up with these loud crickets, but they are not helping me stave off my looming insanity.
I have begun to care less in some ways. I ate a corn dog with breakfast this morning. I sometimes walk around barefoot. My alcohol supply is not yet depleted, but it does dwindle by the day. I’m doing my best given the circumstances.
I’m hoping to be somewhat productive, whatever that means, this weekend. I’d like to achieve some of the following tasks:
- Clean out lizard tank
- Clean up bedroom
- Clean bathroom
- Outline/Begin working on zombie fic
- Add to/finish vampire story
- Read book/other works
- Go for walk
Honestly, I’m not expecting much. Despite cooping myself up indoors save for a few select outings (to see my dad), I am exhausted. I definitely feel this way on occasion due to anxiety and general stress, but this feels different, perhaps more profound. Maybe I’m just being lethargic. Maybe I’ll get my second wind soon. All I know right now is I am tired; I am bored; I am still (mostly) sane.
